Cerita tanpa tajuk Mei 27, 2009

Semalam, waktu tengah malam, saat saya sedang tidur yang kurang nyenyak, saat penduduk seluruh dunia sedang berhimpun menyaksikan separuh akhir liga juara-juara yang membenarkan Mancaster United melawan Barcelona pada khamis ini, saya menerima satu masej dari seseorang. Waktu itu, 3.31 pagi menurut jam saya.

 Lena saya terganggu, saya baca masej tersebut dengan mata berpisat-pisat. Ngantuk. Tiba-tiba, di penghujung ayat masej tersebut, mata saya cerlang. Ayatnyer, “dah kahwin ke?” celaka. Kenapa perlunya datang masej tersebut? Saya benci dia. Dia pernah merosakkan impian saya sedikit masa dahulu. Kerana dialah, saya menjadi seorang perindu tegar. Saya mencari dia di mana-mana. Setiap hari saya keluar dari kediaman saya dengan harapan akan terjumpanya di mana-mana. Ya, saya ada terjumpa dengannya sesekali, tapi, apa yang mampu saya lakukan hanyalah memandang dari jauh dengan seribu kelukaan melihatkan kemesraan dia dan seseorang. Tapi akhirnya kerana dialah juga saya terus menjadi pendendam terhadap dia dan kawan-kawan dia. Saya belajar menceroboh dan godam laman sesawang juga adalah kerana dia. Saya mahu menakhluk segala yang dia ada. Saya jadi geram saat saya tahu dia sedang menyulam cinta dengan seseorang dan saya bertepuk tangan bangga tatkala mengetahui bahawa dia telah bercerai kasih dengan pujaan hatinya itu. Hakikatnya, saya juga tidak menginginkan dia menjadi peneman hidup saya, Cuma saya rasa puas hati dnegan apa yang terjadi.

 Tapi, petang semalam, sewaktu saya sedang berada jauh di tanah kedah, saya menerima panggilan dari dia. Saya benci betul, satu panggilan dari dia saya ibaratkan macam sebaldi air yang menyirami api di dapor arang mak saya. Sejuk, Nyaman,berbunga-bunga, manja, shahdu, leleh. Bertukar-tukar cerita tentang kehidupan kami, katanya dia sedang bekerja sendiri dalam bidang yang saya sendiri pun tak pasti apa. Dia banyak sangat berahsia.

 Namun yang pasti, suara yang diperdengarkannya kedengaran agak matang sekarang. Tu jer.

Toxic personalities to avoid

Rencana di bawah ini saya dapat dari 

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/life/8-toxic-personalities-to-avoid-461078/

Rencana ini mengingatkan saya kepada Che mahzan, pensyarah komunikasi di tempat belajar saya dulu.

Although we like to think that the people in our lives are well-adjusted, happy, healthy minded individuals, we sometimes realize that it just isn’t so.  Personally, I’ve had moments where I’ll be skipping through my day, happy as can be, thinking life is grand and BAM, I’ll be blindsided by someone who manages to knock the happy wind out of my sails.  Sometimes it is easy to write it off and other times, not so much.

Maybe you are a positive person, but when you are around a certain individual, you feel negative.  Or, maybe you have an idealistic view of the world and when you are with certain people, you are made to feel silly, unrealistic or delusional.  Or, maybe you pride yourself in being completely independent and in control of your life, but when you are around a certain family member, you regress into a state of childhood.

Some of these situations, and yes, these people, can have a tremendously negative impact on our lives.  And, although we are all human and have our ‘issues,’ some ‘issues’ are quite frankly, toxic.  They are toxic to our happiness.  They are toxic to our mental outlook.  They are toxic to our self-esteem.  And they are toxic to our lives.  They can suck the life out of us and even shorten our lifespan.

Here are the worst of the toxic personalities out there and how to spot them:

1. Manipulative Mary: These individuals are experts at manipulation tactics.  Is a matter of fact, you may not even realize you have been manipulated until it is too late.  These individuals figure out what your ‘buttons’ are, and push them to get what they want.

• Why they are toxic: These people have a way of eating away at your belief system and self-esteem.  They find ways to make you do things that you don’t necessarily want to do and before you know it, you lose your sense of identity, your personal priorities and your ability to see the reality of the situation.  The world all of a sudden becomes centered around their needs and their priorities.

2. Narcissistic Nancy: These people have an extreme sense of self-importance and believe that the world revolves around them.  They are often not as sly as the Manipulative Marys of the world, but instead, tend to be a bit overt about getting their needs met.  You often want to say to them “It isn’t always about you.”

• Why they are toxic: They are solely focused on their needs, leaving your needs in the dust.  You are left disappointed and unfulfilled.  Further, they zap your energy by getting you to focus so much on them, that you have nothing left for yourself.

3. Debbie Downers: These people can’t appreciate the positive in life.  If you tell them that it is a beautiful day, they will tell you about the impending dreary forecast.  If you tell them you aced a mid-term, they’ll tell you about how difficult the final is going to be.

• Why they are toxic: They take the joy out of everything.  Your rosy outlook on life continues to get squashed with negativity.  Before you know it, their negativity consumes you and you start looking at things with gray colored glasses yourself.

4. Judgmental Jims: When you see things as cute and quirky, they see things as strange and unattractive.  If you find people’s unique perspectives refreshing, they find them ‘wrong’.  If you like someone’s eclectic taste, they find it ‘disturbing’ or ‘bad’.

• Why they are toxic: Judgmental people are much like Debbie Downers.  In a world where freedom rings, judgment is sooo over.  If the world was a homogeneous place, life would be pretty boring.  Spending a lot of time with these types can inadvertently convert you into a judgmental person as well.
  

5. Dream Killing Keiths: Every time you have an idea, these people tell you why you can’t do it.  As you achieve, they try to pull you down.  As you dream, they are the first to tell you it is impossible.

• Why they are toxic: These people are stuck in what is instead of what could be.  Further, these individuals eat away at your self-esteem and your belief in yourself.  Progress and change can only occur from doing new things and innovating, dreaming the impossible and reaching for the stars.

6. Insincere Illissas: You never quite feel that these people are being sincere.  You tell a funny story, they give you a polite laugh.  You feel depressed and sad and they give you a ‘there, there’ type response.  You tell them you are excited about something and you get a very ho-hum response.

• Why they are toxic: People who aren’t sincere or genuine build relationships on superficial criteria.  This breeds shallow, meaningless relationships.  When you are really in need of a friend, they won’t be there.  When you really need constructive criticism, they would rather tell you that you are great the way you are.  When you need support, they would rather see you fail or make a fool of yourself.

7. Disrespectful Dannys: These people will say or do things at the most inappropriate times and in the most inappropriate ways.  In essence, they are more subtle, grown up bullies.  Maybe this person is a friend who you confided in and uses your secret against you.  Maybe it is a family member who puts their busy-body nose into your affairs when it is none of their business.  Or maybe, it is a colleague who says demeaning things to you.

• Why they are toxic: These people have no sense of boundaries and don’t respect your feelings or, for that matter, your privacy.  These people will cause you to feel frustrated and disrespected.

8. Never Enough Nellies: You can never give enough to these people to make them happy.  They take you for granted and have unrealistic expectations of you.  They find ways to continually fault you and never take responsibility for anything themselves.

• Why they are toxic: You will spend so much time trying to please them, that you will end up losing yourself in the process.  They will require all of your time and energy, leaving you worn out and your own needs sacrificed.

1) the more these people get away with their behavior, the more they will continue.  2) Unfortunately, most of these people don’t see that what they do is wrong and as a result, talking to them about it will fall on deaf ears, leaving you wondering if you are the crazy one.  3) Most of these people get worse with age, making their impact on you stronger with time.

Frankly, life is too short to spend your time dealing with toxicity.  If you can, avoid spending mucho time with people who are indicative of these behaviors and you’ll feel a lot happier. Have you encountered these personalities?  What have you done?  Any personalities you would add?

Tentang saya sekarang Mei 22, 2009

-saya sedang bertenang membuat kerja memandangkan bos saya tiada di ofis.

-saya sedang merancang untuk pergi mana-mana krisus penulisann bagi meningkatkan lagi kemahiran menulis, terutama bagi tulisan majalah,dan media dalam talian.

-saya sedang berdiet untuk mengkuruskan sedikit berat badan syaa. susah betol nak mencari pakaian yang cantik kalau berat badan saya melebihi 55kg.

-saya sedang dalam proses menyiapkan website syarikat saya, di mana proses final editing sedang berlansung.

– Saya baru sahaja rasa macam saya sudah sangat konfiden untuk drive di sekitar Kuala Lumpur

-saya baru sahaja membeli 2 helai blause labuh yang sopan dan cantik. ermm, masih muat di badan saya walaupun saya sudah tembam dan comel.

-saya menghadapi konflik di tempat kerja

-saya tidak sabar menunggu musim cuti persekolahan sebab saya dapat berjumpa dengan kawan-kawan saya masa kenduri kahwin Rini, Shah dan Nani nanti.

-Saya sedang membaca buku motivasi H.M.Tuah Iskandar yang bertajuk Biar Bagus Bagusss.

-Saya rasa sengal sekarang nih.

-Saya sedang bengang dengan Brother Yob yang cakap kuat-kuat depan saya nih.

–

Tentang pelarian saya;not-so-sweet-escape. Mei 17, 2009

sudah sebulan saya mlarikan diri dari segala barang yang menyesakkan liang nafas saya di Kuala Lumpur sana.Kuala Lumpur memberi sesak dari segi orang-orangnya, kenderaannya dan bangunannya. Sukar sekali untuk saya menghirup udara segar seperti yang sedang saya kecapi di daerah ini sekarnag. saya kini lari ke daerah yang mengembalikan saya kepada ibubapa, saudara dan alam semulajadi yang fitrahnya kini agak goyah. Pun, saya masih meneruskan rutin kerja walaupun ada sahaja perkara yang menggangu kelancaran kerja saya.

Minggu kedua saya di sini, sya berhadapan dengan dugaan dahsyat, kematian. berjaya jua kami tempuhi dengan redha dan pasrah. Minggu ketiga, saya diserang penyakit yang mengakibatkan saya terlantar selama seminggu. Sungguh dajal wabak tesebut sehinggakan saya tidak mampu berdiri tegak dan sakitnya masih terasa hingga sekarang. Minggu keempat disini barulah saya dapat bkerja dengan aman sekali.

Dalam pada mengharungi sema di atas, saya jadi sangat best apabila mendapat peluang keluar bersama sahabat-sahabat yang sama-sama membesar dan menjadi hantu di batu 16 dulu- Rini, Lin dan Maksu.Lin dah pakai kereta, so kami mencuba la kereta baru, melepak di tepi pantai yang penuh dnegan selut dan seterusnya pergi menghilangkan baki-baki suara yang ada si sebuah pusat karaoke lorong belakang. Mastermindnya, Rini. Haha.

Dan, kali ini tidak seperti selalu perjumpaan yang  kami rencanakan. Kali ini isi perbincangan adalah berkisar tentang kekecewaan Lin terhadap bekas kekasihnya, dan aku jua suarakan isu sama. Paling membuatkan aku tak tahan perut nak tergelak adalah di saat lin berkata,” Hang nak tau tak, dlaam semua kawan kita, yang dalam kereta ni ja yang belum ada boifren, tu pun terkecuali Rini, yang lan semua dah kawin”. Hoh, mengeluh jugak aku dalam hati.

Esok aku akan kembali berfikir tentang hal ni.